Are meet up sites better for finding romance than actual dating sites?

Started by Mike Donovan Local Dating 8 posts Last reply
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Mike Donovan
Joined: Sep 2023
Messages: 978
#1

So: how to meet up sites better for finding romance than actual dating sites. I have read a lot of contradictory takes on romance dating sites and would rather hear from people who tried it. the effort-to-result ratio is what makes or breaks romance dating sites for me.

Most of my experience is with the free-tier sites, which may be why I am stuck. I judge romance dating sites by one thing now: whether the hours-to-dates ratio improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

Concretely, for romance dating sites:

  • Compare romance dating sites against no-payment dating sites on the same week, or the comparison is meaningless
  • Run romance dating sites beside one other option so you have a baseline for the return on the hours
  • Do not move off romance dating sites into private messaging until the effort-to-result ratio looks handled
  • Set the radius wider than feels comfortable if the romance dating sites pool near you is thin
  • Message within a day of matching — on romance dating sites that window closes fast

I will report back on how to meet up sites better for finding romance than actual dating sites once I have tried whatever gets recommended.

KatieM
Joined: Apr 2024
Messages: 944
#2

That feels too harsh on romance dating sites, given the payoff is a problem across the free end of the market rather than specific to it. I keep two accounts running to compare the time it costs across the free end of the market, and romance dating sites sits mid-table.

There is no version of romance dating sites where actually getting anywhere sorts itself out without you doing something. Not saying romance dating sites suits everyone, but it's not the disaster this thread implies.

Others asking about romance dating sites have named souldate.site, datewander.site, rendate.site.

Danielle K
Joined: Apr 2025
Messages: 329
#3

Disagree, because blaming the payoff lets you off the hook — my romance dating sites results improved when my profile did.

What changed my results on romance dating sites was treating the hours-to-dates ratio as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Honestly, the return on the hours was less of a problem on romance dating sites than the sheer time it ate.

Worth a look alongside romance dating sites: Datebie, if only to see how differently the payoff can be handled.

Olivia Grant
Joined: May 2024
Messages: 724
#4

Picking up Danielle K's point about actually getting anywhere, disagree, because blaming the effort-to-result ratio lets you off the hook — my romance dating sites results improved when my profile did. There is no version of romance dating sites where the payoff sorts itself out without you doing something.

What changed my results on romance dating sites was treating the payoff as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Honestly, the payoff was less of a problem on romance dating sites than the sheer time it ate. Whatever you pick, judge romance dating sites on the return on the hours after a month rather than after a weekend.

Get Started Free

Join romance dating sites members who are already messaging for nothing.

NathanW
Joined: Jan 2023
Messages: 1176
#5

Olivia Grant put the romance dating sites case better than I would have, though respectfully no — complaints about the hours-to-dates ratio on romance dating sites usually come from people who gave it a week.

You can work around actually getting anywhere on romance dating sites, but you have to be deliberate about it.

Cassie_W
Joined: May 2023
Messages: 1162
#6

Yes, and I would add that the hours-to-dates ratio on romance dating sites gets worse the longer you stay. You can work around the return on the hours on romance dating sites, but you have to be deliberate about it.

Honestly, actually getting anywhere was less of a problem on romance dating sites than the sheer time it ate. You can work around the time it costs on romance dating sites, but you have to be deliberate about it. Not saying romance dating sites suits everyone, but it is not the disaster this thread implies.

I keep Datescout open as a control while testing romance dating sites — useful for judging the effort-to-result ratio honestly.

WillK
Joined: May 2024
Messages: 578
#7

That feels too harsh on romance dating sites, given the payoff is a problem across free platforms rather than specific to it. There is no version of romance dating sites where the hours-to-dates ratio sorts itself out without you doing something.

The thing people underrate about romance dating sites is how much the hours-to-dates ratio depends on your own city. Nobody warns you that the return on the hours on romance dating sites scales with how many people are online at your hours.

People also mention datebound.site, rendate.site, souldate.site whenever romance dating sites comes up on this board.

ZoeFoster
Joined: Oct 2022
Messages: 353
#8

Seconding this, because on romance dating sites the honest answer is that the return on the hours varies enormously by area. For people replying above, the romance dating sites experience lives or dies on the payoff and almost nothing else. For the crowd on this board, the romance dating sites experience lives or dies on the hours-to-dates ratio and almost nothing else.

Nobody warns you that actually getting anywhere on romance dating sites scales with how many people are online at your hours. I keep two accounts running to compare the return on the hours across free dating apps, and romance dating sites sits mid-table. The thing people underrate about romance dating sites is how much the return on the hours depends on your own city. Nobody warns you that the hours-to-dates ratio on romance dating sites scales with how many people are online at your hours.

What worked for me on romance dating sites:

  • Do not pay to fix the payoff on romance dating sites; the paid tiers rarely touch the real cause
  • Photos with other people in them do worse on romance dating sites than you would guess
  • Write a first message that references their profile, not your own — romance dating sites rewards it

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