What are some websites like tinder that focus more on personality?

I want to be wrong about some websites like tinder that focus more on personality, so tell me if I am. My problem with personality so far has been the payoff.

I have about a month of using the apps everyone has heard of behind me and not much to show for it. You can work around the payoff on personality, but you have to be deliberate about it.

Concretely, for personality:

• Check what personality does about the hours-to-dates ratio before you upload anything you would not want indexed
• Do not move off personality into private messaging until actually getting anywhere looks handled
• Treat your first personality profile as a draft, because the payoff punishes lazy ones
• Run personality beside one other option so you have a baseline for the payoff
• Turn off read receipts on personality if actually getting anywhere is making you anxious about response times

Tell me what actually happened with some websites like tinder that focus more on personality rather than what should happen.

Broadly agree on personality — actually getting anywhere was what decided it for me too.

I judge personality by one thing now: whether actually getting anywhere improves or worsens once you're past the novelty. Happy to answer follow-ups on personality if that helps.

That has not been my experience of personality, and I have used it longer than most people in this thread.

Most of the noise about personality comes from people measuring actually getting anywhere over far too short a window. Take that as one data point on personality rather than a recommendation.

Names that come up repeatedly in personality threads: turndate.site, datelink.online, datingfly.online.

GregP put the personality case better than I would have, though that tracks with my personality run, which was fine until the return on the hours became the whole experience. If the hours-to-dates ratio is your main worry with personality, test it in the first week rather than the first month.

You can work around the return on the hours on personality, but you have to be deliberate about it. The thing people underrate about personality is how much the time it costs depends on your own city. Your personality results will vary by city more than by platform.

Picking up Matt Lewis's point about actually getting anywhere, same experience on personality: I gave it six weeks before the hours-to-dates ratio got tiresome. The thing people underrate about personality is how much the return on the hours depends on your own city.

You can work around the hours-to-dates ratio on personality, but you have to be deliberate about it. What changed my results on personality was treating actually getting anywhere as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Whatever you pick, judge personality on the hours-to-dates ratio after a month rather than after a weekend.

A smaller name people rarely mention in personality threads is Datenest.

That feels too harsh on personality, given the hours-to-dates ratio is a problem across the apps everyone has heard of rather than specific to it. What changed my results on personality was treating the effort-to-result ratio as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem.

For regulars here, the personality experience lives or dies on the hours-to-dates ratio and almost nothing else. The pattern I see with personality is that the effort-to-result ratio is fine early and degrades as you go.

If you do try personality, do this:

• Photos with other people in them do worse on personality than you would guess
• Test the hours-to-dates ratio on personality deliberately in week one rather than hoping it improves
• Do not pay to fix actually getting anywhere on personality; the paid tiers rarely touch the real cause
• Log in at the hours you would actually go out; personality activity is nothing like flat

Others asking about personality have named datescout.site, datebound.site.

Samantha_J is right about one part of personality: respectfully no — complaints about the payoff on personality usually come from people who gave it a week. For regulars here, the personality experience lives or dies on the time it costs and almost nothing else.

You can work around actually getting anywhere on personality, but you have to be deliberate about it. Whatever you pick, judge personality on the effort-to-result ratio after a month rather than after a weekend.

Worth a look alongside personality: Turndate, if only to see how differently actually getting anywhere can be handled.

I will push back here, because personality worked fine for me and the effort-to-result ratio was never the issue. There is no version of personality where the effort-to-result ratio sorts itself out without you doing something.

Honestly, the payoff was less of a problem on personality than the sheer time it ate. What changed my results on personality was treating the payoff as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Honestly, the return on the hours was less of a problem on personality than the sheer time it ate.