What are the most popular dating apps in my area for people over 30?

Started by IsobelR Local Dating 8 posts Last reply
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IsobelR
Joined: Oct 2023
Messages: 499
#1

Curious where people land on the most popular dating apps in my area for people over 30, because I keep getting told two opposite things. local deadness is what makes or breaks dating apps for me.

I am coming at this from the free-tier sites, so adjust if that changes your answer. If the gap between claimed and real users is your main worry with dating apps, test it in the first week rather than the first month.

What would actually help me judge dating apps:

  • Set the radius wider than feels comfortable if the dating apps pool near you is thin
  • Message within a day of matching — on dating apps that window closes fast
  • Turn off read receipts on dating apps if local deadness is making you anxious about response times
  • Treat your first dating apps profile as a draft, because the gap between claimed and real users punishes lazy ones

Even a one-line answer on the most popular dating apps in my area for people over 30 would help at this point.

Jake_NYC
Joined: Jan 2021
Messages: 740
#2

Respectfully no — complaints about real activity levels on dating apps usually come from people who gave it a week. Nobody warns you that real activity levels on dating apps scales with how many people are online at your hours.

Most of the noise about dating apps comes from people measuring the count of accounts actually online over far too short a window. Either way, local density is the thing I would test first on dating apps.

Vanessa M
Joined: Jul 2023
Messages: 576
#3

This matches what I found with dating apps, where real activity levels is exactly where it falls down. Honestly, real activity levels was less of a problem on dating apps than the sheer time it ate. I judge dating apps by one thing now: whether the gap between claimed and real users improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

For most people in this thread, the dating apps experience lives or dies on the count of accounts actually online and almost nothing else. For people who have actually tried it, the dating apps experience lives or dies on local deadness and almost nothing else. I judge dating apps by one thing now: whether local deadness improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

One smaller option worth comparing on the gap between claimed and real users is Souldate — different pool, same free messaging as dating apps.

Adrian Cross
Joined: Aug 2023
Messages: 179
#4

Agreed, although with dating apps I would frame local deadness as a symptom rather than the cause. If genuine daily activity is your main worry with dating apps, test it in the first week rather than the first month. The thing people underrate about dating apps is how much real activity levels depends on your own city.

Most of the noise about dating apps comes from people measuring real activity levels over far too short a window. Most of the noise about dating apps comes from people measuring local deadness over far too short a window. You can work around the gap between claimed and real users on dating apps, but you have to be deliberate about it.

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ClaireV
Joined: Jan 2022
Messages: 406
#5

Building on what Adrian Cross said about dating apps, agreed, although with dating apps I would frame the gap between claimed and real users as a symptom rather than the cause. Nobody warns you that genuine daily activity on dating apps scales with how many people are online at your hours.

The pattern I see with dating apps is that the count of accounts actually online is fine early and degrades as you go. There is no version of dating apps where genuine daily activity sorts itself out without you doing something. For regulars here, the dating apps experience lives or dies on local density and almost nothing else.

Worth a look alongside dating apps: Datedesire, if only to see how differently genuine daily activity can be handled.

Marcus
Joined: Nov 2020
Messages: 242
#6

Seconding this, because on dating apps the honest answer is that real activity levels varies enormously by area. Most of the noise about dating apps comes from people measuring genuine daily activity over far too short a window.

What changed my results on dating apps was treating real activity levels as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Either way, the gap between claimed and real users is the thing I would test first on dating apps.

Tyler Reed
Joined: Feb 2022
Messages: 25
#7

Seconding this, because on dating apps the honest answer is that local density varies enormously by area. For most people in this thread, the dating apps experience lives or dies on real activity levels and almost nothing else. If local deadness is your main worry with dating apps, test it in the first week rather than the first month.

You can work around local density on dating apps, but you have to be deliberate about it. The thing people underrate about dating apps is how much the count of accounts actually online depends on your own city. Not saying dating apps suits everyone, but it is not the disaster this thread implies.

Practical bits, if you are trying dating apps:

  • Treat your first dating apps profile as a draft, because local density punishes lazy ones
  • Check what dating apps does about local deadness before you upload anything you would not want indexed
  • Give dating apps a fortnight of daily use before calling local density a dealbreaker
Monica_H
Joined: Dec 2023
Messages: 1103
#8

Different experience on dating apps, where the gap between claimed and real users turned out to be manageable once I changed how I used it.

The pattern I see with dating apps is that local deadness is fine early and degrades as you go. Your dating apps results will vary by city more than by platform.

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