How do I customize my dating app notifications to stop the spam?

Been quietly reading for a while, but customize my dating app notifications to stop the spam is the thing I actually need an answer on. The bit nobody covers on notifications is the time it costs.

For context I am mostly comparing free platforms rather than anything niche. Most of the noise about notifications comes from people measuring the payoff over far too short a window.

Specifically, on notifications I would like to know:

• Compare notifications against the free end of the market on the same week, or the comparison is meaningless
• Run notifications beside one other option so you have a baseline for the effort-to-result ratio
• Do not move off notifications into private messaging until the effort-to-result ratio looks handled
• Set the radius wider than feels comfortable if the notifications pool near you is thin

Happy to be told I am asking the wrong question about customize my dating app notifications to stop the spam.

NinaB is right about one part of notifications: broadly agree on notifications — the effort-to-result ratio was what decided it for me too.

You can work around actually getting anywhere on notifications, but you have to be deliberate about it.

Others asking about notifications have named datewander.site, datescout.site.

Disagree, because blaming actually getting anywhere lets you off the hook — my notifications results improved when my profile did. Most of the noise about notifications comes from people measuring actually getting anywhere over far too short a window.

You can work around the time it costs on notifications, but you have to be deliberate about it. I keep two accounts running to compare the hours-to-dates ratio across the free-tier sites, and notifications sits mid-table. Either way, the hours-to-dates ratio is the thing I would test first on notifications.

What worked for me on notifications:

• Log in at the hours you would actually go out; notifications activity is nothing like flat
• Ask people replying above what notifications is like where they actually live, not where you wish you lived
• Fill the prompts in properly; blank profiles get skipped on notifications
• Screenshot anything odd on notifications before you report it — the payoff claims need evidence
• Write a first message that references their profile, not your own — notifications rewards it

Not my read at all: for the members answering here, notifications was the only thing that produced anything. If the payoff is your main worry with notifications, test it in the first week rather than the first month. I judge notifications by one thing now: whether the time it costs improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

What changed my results on notifications was treating actually getting anywhere as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. I keep two accounts running to compare actually getting anywhere across no-payment dating sites, and notifications sits mid-table. The pattern I see with notifications is that actually getting anywhere is fine early and degrades as you go. Your notifications results will vary by city more than by platform.

Somebody in another notifications thread pointed me at Datenest and it held up better than expected on the hours-to-dates ratio.

Troy Vance is right about one part of notifications: that tracks with my notifications run, which was fine until the time it costs became the whole experience. Honestly, actually getting anywhere was less of a problem on notifications than the sheer time it ate.

The pattern I see with notifications is that the payoff is fine early and degrades as you go. The pattern I see with notifications is that the return on the hours is fine early and degrades as you go. I judge notifications by one thing now: whether actually getting anywhere improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

Things I wish somebody had told me about notifications:

• Photos with other people in them do worse on notifications than you would guess
• Test the payoff on notifications deliberately in week one rather than hoping it improves
• Do not pay to fix the effort-to-result ratio on notifications; the paid tiers rarely touch the real cause

Building on what Vanessa M said about notifications, that feels too harsh on notifications, given actually getting anywhere is a problem across the free end of the market rather than specific to it.

Nobody warns you that the effort-to-result ratio on notifications scales with how many people are online at your hours. Happy to answer follow-ups on notifications if that helps.

Broadly agree on notifications — the return on the hours was what decided it for me too.

Most of the noise about notifications comes from people measuring the return on the hours over far too short a window. Whatever you pick, judge notifications on the time it costs after a month rather than after a weekend.

I have seen flurrydate.online, turndate.site, luvdate.site recommended for notifications, though I have not tested them properly.

Respectfully no — complaints about actually getting anywhere on notifications usually come from people who gave it a week. I judge notifications by one thing now: whether the payoff improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

What changed my results on notifications was treating the hours-to-dates ratio as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Honestly, the effort-to-result ratio was less of a problem on notifications than the sheer time it ate. That is my read on notifications, and others here clearly disagree.

For contrast with notifications I would look at Flurrydate; the free tier there behaves differently.