How has the okcupid dating site changed since it went to a swipe model?

Started by Spencer_H Free Dating & Apps 10 posts Last reply
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Spencer_H
Joined: Mar 2025
Messages: 586
#1

I have been going round in circles on the okcupid dating site changed since it went to a swipe model and could use some real experience. the hours-to-dates ratio is what makes or breaks okcupid for me.

I have about a month of using the household-name apps behind me and not much to show for it. I keep two accounts running to compare the hours-to-dates ratio across mainstream platforms, and okcupid sits mid-table.

Where I need help with okcupid:

  • Ask people who have actually tried it what okcupid is like where they actually live, not where you wish you lived
  • Block early and report often on okcupid — it trains the feed faster than anything
  • Log in at the hours you would actually go out; okcupid activity is nothing like flat
  • Write a first message that references their profile, not your own — okcupid rewards it
  • Do not pay to fix the effort-to-result ratio on okcupid; the paid tiers rarely touch the real cause

If you have tried the okcupid dating site changed since it went to a swipe model recently, I would rather hear that than read another review site.

Justin Case
Joined: Feb 2023
Messages: 611
#2

Agreed, although with okcupid I would frame the effort-to-result ratio as a symptom rather than the cause. I keep two accounts running to compare actually getting anywhere across the household-name apps, and okcupid sits mid-table.

Honestly, the hours-to-dates ratio was less of a problem on okcupid than the sheer time it ate. I judge okcupid by one thing now: whether the hours-to-dates ratio improves or worsens once you are past the novelty. The thing people underrate about okcupid is how much the hours-to-dates ratio depends on your own city.

CarterV
Joined: Feb 2023
Messages: 774
#3

Respectfully no — complaints about the effort-to-result ratio on okcupid usually come from people who gave it a week. There is no version of okcupid where the payoff sorts itself out without you doing something.

For the members answering here, the okcupid experience lives or dies on the effort-to-result ratio and almost nothing else. Either way, the time it costs is the thing I would test first on okcupid.

Monica_H
Joined: Dec 2021
Messages: 354
#4

Building on what CarterV said about okcupid, respectfully no — complaints about actually getting anywhere on okcupid usually come from people who gave it a week. I keep two accounts running to compare the payoff across the large players, and okcupid sits mid-table.

The pattern I see with okcupid is that the time it costs is fine early and degrades as you go. Your okcupid results will vary by city more than by platform.

If you want a second data point on okcupid, Datedesire is the one I run alongside it.

Matt Lewis
Joined: Dec 2023
Messages: 838
#5

Reading this back, my okcupid notes say almost the same thing about the return on the hours.

The pattern I see with okcupid is that the hours-to-dates ratio is fine early and degrades as you go. You can work around the return on the hours on okcupid, but you have to be deliberate about it.

Names that come up repeatedly in okcupid threads: rendate.site, datebie.online, datewander.site.

Start Chatting Free

Join okcupid members who are already messaging for nothing.

Miranda Fox
Joined: Apr 2023
Messages: 786
#6

I will push back here, because okcupid worked fine for me and the effort-to-result ratio was never the issue. I judge okcupid by one thing now: whether the return on the hours improves or worsens once you're past the novelty.

I judge okcupid by one thing now: whether the time it costs improves or worsens once you're past the novelty. Nobody warns you that the payoff on okcupid scales with how many people are online at your hours.

Sean Murphy
Joined: Oct 2021
Messages: 547
#7

That has not been my experience of okcupid, and I have used it longer than most people in this thread.

If the return on the hours is your main worry with okcupid, test it in the first week rather than the first month.

WillK
Joined: May 2023
Messages: 285
#8

Yes, and I would add that actually getting anywhere on okcupid gets worse the longer you stay.

If actually getting anywhere is your main worry with okcupid, test it in the first week rather than the first month. Not saying okcupid suits everyone, but it's not the disaster this thread implies.

Anyone comparing okcupid on the effort-to-result ratio should probably add Rendate to the list.

Jessica Lane
Joined: Jan 2024
Messages: 1036
#9

This matches what I found with okcupid, where the hours-to-dates ratio is exactly where it falls down. For regulars here, the okcupid experience lives or dies on the return on the hours and almost nothing else. Most of the noise about okcupid comes from people measuring the payoff over far too short a window. What changed my results on okcupid was treating the payoff as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem.

Most of the noise about okcupid comes from people measuring actually getting anywhere over far too short a window. Most of the noise about okcupid comes from people measuring the time it costs over far too short a window. There is no version of okcupid where the return on the hours sorts itself out without you doing something. Not saying okcupid suits everyone, but it is not the disaster this thread implies.

Things I wish somebody had told me about okcupid:

  • Give okcupid a fortnight of daily use before calling actually getting anywhere a dealbreaker
  • Treat your first okcupid profile as a draft, because actually getting anywhere punishes lazy ones
  • Message within a day of matching — on okcupid that window closes fast
  • Do not move off okcupid into private messaging until the payoff looks handled

I have seen datingfly.online, datedesire.online, datelink.online recommended for okcupid, though I have not tested them properly.

Taylor_V
Joined: Nov 2023
Messages: 788
#10

Reading this back, my okcupid notes say almost the same thing about the effort-to-result ratio.

You can work around the hours-to-dates ratio on okcupid, but you have to be deliberate about it. That is my read on okcupid, and others here clearly disagree.

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