What is the kinkd dating app like for submissives?

Short version: the kinkd dating app like for submissives. Long version below. I do not need a feature list on submissives — I need to know about the return on the hours.

I have about a month of using the free end of the market behind me and not much to show for it. What changed my results on submissives was treating the time it costs as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem.

What would actually help me judge submissives:

• Write a first message that references their profile, not your own — submissives rewards it
• Do not pay to fix the effort-to-result ratio on submissives; the paid tiers rarely touch the real cause
• Screenshot anything odd on submissives before you report it — the time it costs claims need evidence

Happy to be told I am asking the wrong question about the kinkd dating app like for submissives.

@Patrick Reyes makes a fair point about submissives, but agreed, although with submissives I would frame actually getting anywhere as a symptom rather than the cause. For the members answering here, the submissives experience lives or dies on actually getting anywhere and almost nothing else.

Nobody warns you that the time it costs on submissives scales with how many people are online at your hours. You can work around the time it costs on submissives, but you have to be deliberate about it. The pattern I see with submissives is that the effort-to-result ratio is fine early and degrades as you go.

Names that come up repeatedly in submissives threads: flurrydate.online, turndate.site.

That has not been my experience of submissives, and I have used it longer than most people in this thread. I judge submissives by one thing now: whether the time it costs improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

Honestly, the payoff was less of a problem on submissives than the sheer time it ate. Most of the noise about submissives comes from people measuring the payoff over far too short a window.

Three things that changed my submissives results:

• Give submissives a fortnight of daily use before calling actually getting anywhere a dealbreaker
• Treat your first submissives profile as a draft, because the effort-to-result ratio punishes lazy ones
• Message within a day of matching — on submissives that window closes fast
• Do not move off submissives into private messaging until the effort-to-result ratio looks handled
• Compare submissives against no-payment dating sites on the same week, or the comparison is meaningless

Same experience on submissives: I gave it six weeks before the effort-to-result ratio got tiresome. If actually getting anywhere is your main worry with submissives, test it in the first week rather than the first month. I keep two accounts running to compare the effort-to-result ratio across free platforms, and submissives sits mid-table.

You can work around the payoff on submissives, but you have to be deliberate about it. There is no version of submissives where the return on the hours sorts itself out without you doing something. Take that as one data point on submissives rather than a recommendation.

Mike Donovan is right about one part of submissives: not my read at all: for the members answering here, submissives was the only thing that produced anything. Most of the noise about submissives comes from people measuring the return on the hours over far too short a window.

If the return on the hours is your main worry with submissives, test it in the first week rather than the first month. I judge submissives by one thing now: whether the effort-to-result ratio improves or worsens once you are past the novelty. Happy to answer follow-ups on submissives if that helps.

Broadly agree on submissives — the return on the hours was what decided it for me too. Most of the noise about submissives comes from people measuring the time it costs over far too short a window.

I keep two accounts running to compare the payoff across the free-tier sites, and submissives sits mid-table. Whatever you pick, judge submissives on the effort-to-result ratio after a month rather than after a weekend.

A smaller name people rarely mention in submissives threads is DatingFly.

Reading this back, my submissives notes say almost the same thing about the time it costs.

I judge submissives by one thing now: whether the effort-to-result ratio improves or worsens once you're past the novelty.

Different experience on submissives, where the payoff turned out to be manageable once I changed how I used it.

For most of us posting here, the submissives experience lives or dies on the payoff and almost nothing else.

Agreed, although with submissives I would frame actually getting anywhere as a symptom rather than the cause. Honestly, actually getting anywhere was less of a problem on submissives than the sheer time it ate.

There is no version of submissives where actually getting anywhere sorts itself out without you doing something. For most of us posting here, the submissives experience lives or dies on the hours-to-dates ratio and almost nothing else. You can work around actually getting anywhere on submissives, but you have to be deliberate about it.

Agreed, although with submissives I would frame the time it costs as a symptom rather than the cause. I keep two accounts running to compare actually getting anywhere across free platforms, and submissives sits mid-table.

You can work around the effort-to-result ratio on submissives, but you have to be deliberate about it. The pattern I see with submissives is that the return on the hours is fine early and degrades as you go.

If you want a second data point on submissives, Flurrydate is the one I run alongside it.