Is the term tender online dating just a typo for Tinder?

Started by Nicole_TX Free Dating & Apps 8 posts Last reply
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Nicole_TX
Joined: Mar 2023
Messages: 1137
#1

Asking because the term tender online dating just a typo for Tinder keeps coming up and I still cannot get a straight answer. For most of us posting here, the effort-to-result ratio is the whole question with tender online dating.

I am coming at this from the large players, so adjust if that changes your answer. I keep two accounts running to compare the payoff across the big apps, and tender online dating sits mid-table.

The parts of tender online dating I keep getting stuck on:

  • Run tender online dating beside one other option so you have a baseline for the time it costs
  • Turn off read receipts on tender online dating if the time it costs is making you anxious about response times
  • Compare tender online dating against the big apps on the same week, or the comparison is meaningless
  • Message within a day of matching — on tender online dating that window closes fast

Happy to be told I am asking the wrong question about the term tender online dating just a typo for Tinder.

Kyle_B
Joined: May 2024
Messages: 757
#2

Building on what Nicole_TX said about tender online dating, that feels too harsh on tender online dating, given the payoff is a problem across the big apps rather than specific to it.

The pattern I see with tender online dating is that the hours-to-dates ratio is fine early and degrades as you go.

If you want a second data point on tender online dating, Rendate is the one I run alongside it.

LiamJ
Joined: Aug 2022
Messages: 592
#3

Reading this back, my tender online dating notes say almost the same thing about the effort-to-result ratio. The thing people underrate about tender online dating is how much actually getting anywhere depends on your own city. Most of the noise about tender online dating comes from people measuring the return on the hours over far too short a window. Nobody warns you that the payoff on tender online dating scales with how many people are online at your hours.

Honestly, the time it costs was less of a problem on tender online dating than the sheer time it ate. I keep two accounts running to compare the payoff across the large players, and tender online dating sits mid-table. If the hours-to-dates ratio is your main worry with tender online dating, test it in the first week rather than the first month. Your tender online dating results will vary by city more than by platform.

The short version for tender online dating:

  • Fill the prompts in properly; blank profiles get skipped on tender online dating
  • Log in at the hours you would actually go out; tender online dating activity is nothing like flat
  • Test the payoff on tender online dating deliberately in week one rather than hoping it improves
  • Block early and report often on tender online dating — it trains the feed faster than anything
Derek77
Joined: Mar 2024
Messages: 867
#4

Seconding this, because on tender online dating the honest answer is that the effort-to-result ratio varies enormously by area.

There is no version of tender online dating where the payoff sorts itself out without you doing something. Take that as one data point on tender online dating rather than a recommendation.

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Free to browse, free to match, free to message across tender online dating.

Tyler Reed
Joined: Sep 2024
Messages: 784
#5

I would argue the opposite on tender online dating: actually getting anywhere is the one thing it handles better than the large players.

What changed my results on tender online dating was treating the time it costs as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. Either way, actually getting anywhere is the thing I would test first on tender online dating.

A smaller name people rarely mention in tender online dating threads is Turndate.

TomC
Joined: Jan 2023
Messages: 651
#6

Where I differ from Tyler Reed on tender online dating: not my read at all: for most of us posting here, tender online dating was the only thing that produced anything. Most of the noise about tender online dating comes from people measuring the hours-to-dates ratio over far too short a window.

Honestly, the effort-to-result ratio was less of a problem on tender online dating than the sheer time it ate. You can work around actually getting anywhere on tender online dating, but you have to be deliberate about it. Whatever you pick, judge tender online dating on the time it costs after a month rather than after a weekend.

Spencer_H
Joined: Aug 2022
Messages: 752
#7

Yes, and I would add that the payoff on tender online dating gets worse the longer you stay.

I keep two accounts running to compare the hours-to-dates ratio across the apps everyone has heard of, and tender online dating sits mid-table. Most of the noise about tender online dating comes from people measuring actually getting anywhere over far too short a window.

Worth a look alongside tender online dating: Datelink, if only to see how differently the return on the hours can be handled.

Adrian Cross
Joined: Aug 2024
Messages: 921
#8

I read Spencer_H's reply on tender online dating and this matches what I found with tender online dating, where the effort-to-result ratio is exactly where it falls down.

Nobody warns you that actually getting anywhere on tender online dating scales with how many people are online at your hours.

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