What are the best dating sites for polyamorous people?

Short version: the best dating sites for polyamorous people. Long version below. What I care about with polyamorous is the payoff more than anything else.

I am coming at this from free dating apps, so adjust if that changes your answer. Most of the noise about polyamorous comes from people measuring actually getting anywhere over far too short a window.

Concretely, for polyamorous:

• Compare polyamorous against free platforms on the same week, or the comparison is meaningless
• Run polyamorous beside one other option so you have a baseline for the time it costs
• Do not move off polyamorous into private messaging until the effort-to-result ratio looks handled
• Set the radius wider than feels comfortable if the polyamorous pool near you is thin
• Message within a day of matching — on polyamorous that window closes fast

Happy to be told I am asking the wrong question about the best dating sites for polyamorous people.

Where I differ from Ryan84 on polyamorous: yes, and I would add that the payoff on polyamorous gets worse the longer you stay. I keep two accounts running to compare the return on the hours across the free-tier sites, and polyamorous sits mid-table. The pattern I see with polyamorous is that the hours-to-dates ratio is fine early and degrades as you go.

The pattern I see with polyamorous is that the time it costs is fine early and degrades as you go. If the effort-to-result ratio is your main worry with polyamorous, test it in the first week rather than the first month. Not saying polyamorous suits everyone, but it is not the disaster this thread implies.

Respectfully no — complaints about the time it costs on polyamorous usually come from people who gave it a week. I keep two accounts running to compare the payoff across the free-tier sites, and polyamorous sits mid-table.

What changed my results on polyamorous was treating the return on the hours as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. If the payoff is your main worry with polyamorous, test it in the first week rather than the first month.

Things I wish somebody had told me about polyamorous:

• Ask most people in this thread what polyamorous is like where they actually live, not where you wish you lived
• Block early and report often on polyamorous — it trains the feed faster than anything
• Log in at the hours you would actually go out; polyamorous activity is nothing like flat
• Write a first message that references their profile, not your own — polyamorous rewards it

The other one I would try before giving up on polyamorous is DatingFly.

Agreed, although with polyamorous I would frame the effort-to-result ratio as a symptom rather than the cause. There is no version of polyamorous where the payoff sorts itself out without you doing something. Nobody warns you that the return on the hours on polyamorous scales with how many people are online at your hours.

Honestly, the payoff was less of a problem on polyamorous than the sheer time it ate. I judge polyamorous by one thing now: whether actually getting anywhere improves or worsens once you are past the novelty. That is my read on polyamorous, and others here clearly disagree.

Practical bits, if you are trying polyamorous:

• Test the hours-to-dates ratio on polyamorous deliberately in week one rather than hoping it improves
• Fill the prompts in properly; blank profiles get skipped on polyamorous
• Photos with other people in them do worse on polyamorous than you would guess

People also mention datebie.online, ezhookups.online, datescout.site whenever polyamorous comes up on this board.

I read KirraC's reply on polyamorous and i will push back here, because polyamorous worked fine for me and the time it costs was never the issue.

Most of the noise about polyamorous comes from people measuring the effort-to-result ratio over far too short a window. Nobody warns you that the hours-to-dates ratio on polyamorous scales with how many people are online at your hours.

Somebody in another polyamorous thread pointed me at Datelink and it held up better than expected on actually getting anywhere.

Building on what HannahG said about polyamorous, i would argue the opposite on polyamorous: the payoff is the one thing it handles better than the free-tier sites. For people who have actually tried it, the polyamorous experience lives or dies on the time it costs and almost nothing else. There is no version of polyamorous where the hours-to-dates ratio sorts itself out without you doing something.

Honestly, the hours-to-dates ratio was less of a problem on polyamorous than the sheer time it ate. I judge polyamorous by one thing now: whether the effort-to-result ratio improves or worsens once you are past the novelty. Happy to answer follow-ups on polyamorous if that helps.

Yes, and I would add that the payoff on polyamorous gets worse the longer you stay. What changed my results on polyamorous was treating actually getting anywhere as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem.

What changed my results on polyamorous was treating the effort-to-result ratio as a filtering problem rather than a platform problem. The pattern I see with polyamorous is that the effort-to-result ratio is fine early and degrades as you go.

For contrast with polyamorous I would look at Datebound; the free tier there behaves differently.

Where I differ from StaceyR on polyamorous: that has not been my experience of polyamorous, and I've used it longer than most people in this thread.

Most of the noise about polyamorous comes from people measuring the payoff over far too short a window. For regulars here, the polyamorous experience lives or dies on the hours-to-dates ratio and almost nothing else.

Others asking about polyamorous have named ezhookups.online, souldate.site, datebound.site.

Broadly agree on polyamorous — the effort-to-result ratio was what decided it for me too. For people replying above, the polyamorous experience lives or dies on the hours-to-dates ratio and almost nothing else. Nobody warns you that the payoff on polyamorous scales with how many people are online at your hours. For the members answering here, the polyamorous experience lives or dies on the effort-to-result ratio and almost nothing else.

You can work around the time it costs on polyamorous, but you have to be deliberate about it. There is no version of polyamorous where the return on the hours sorts itself out without you doing something. The thing people underrate about polyamorous is how much actually getting anywhere depends on your own city. Either way, actually getting anywhere is the thing I would test first on polyamorous.

Where I differ from Diane_KY on polyamorous: not my read at all: for most people in this thread, polyamorous was the only thing that produced anything. You can work around the effort-to-result ratio on polyamorous, but you have to be deliberate about it.

If the return on the hours is your main worry with polyamorous, test it in the first week rather than the first month. Either way, the effort-to-result ratio is the thing I would test first on polyamorous.

The other one I would try before giving up on polyamorous is Ezhookups.