Which meet sites are best for finding people with shared values?

Genuine question about how to meet sites are best for finding people with shared values — I do not have a strong view yet and I want one. What I care about with meet sites shared is the payoff more than anything else.

Assume I know nothing beyond the obvious about the options here. The pattern I see with meet sites shared is that the hours-to-dates ratio is fine early and degrades as you go.

If you have used meet sites shared, these are the bits I care about:

• Ask the crowd on this board what meet sites shared is like where they actually live, not where you wish you lived
• Block early and report often on meet sites shared — it trains the feed faster than anything
• Log in at the hours you would actually go out; meet sites shared activity is nothing like flat
• Write a first message that references their profile, not your own — meet sites shared rewards it

I will report back on how to meet sites are best for finding people with shared values once I have tried whatever gets recommended.

Not my read at all: for people who have actually tried it, meet sites shared was the only thing that produced anything. Most of the noise about meet sites shared comes from people measuring the payoff over far too short a window.

Nobody warns you that the time it costs on meet sites shared scales with how many people are online at your hours. I judge meet sites shared by one thing now: whether the time it costs improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

People also mention turndate.site, datelink.online, datingfly.online whenever meet sites shared comes up on this board.

Reading this back, my meet sites shared notes say almost the same thing about the time it costs. There is no version of meet sites shared where actually getting anywhere sorts itself out without you doing something.

If the return on the hours is your main worry with meet sites shared, test it in the first week rather than the first month. Whatever you pick, judge meet sites shared on the hours-to-dates ratio after a month rather than after a weekend.

Three things that changed my meet sites shared results:

• Turn off read receipts on meet sites shared if the time it costs is making you anxious about response times
• Set the radius wider than feels comfortable if the meet sites shared pool near you is thin
• Run meet sites shared beside one other option so you have a baseline for the return on the hours

Somebody in another meet sites shared thread pointed me at Ezhookups and it held up better than expected on actually getting anywhere.

I would argue the opposite on meet sites shared: the payoff is the one thing it handles better than the options here.

There is no version of meet sites shared where the hours-to-dates ratio sorts itself out without you doing something. The thing people underrate about meet sites shared is how much the effort-to-result ratio depends on your own city.

@NickT makes a fair point about meet sites shared, but broadly agree on meet sites shared — the time it costs was what decided it for me too.

I judge meet sites shared by one thing now: whether actually getting anywhere improves or worsens once you're past the novelty. Either way, actually getting anywhere is the thing I would test first on meet sites shared.

Respectfully no — complaints about the payoff on meet sites shared usually come from people who gave it a week. There is no version of meet sites shared where the payoff sorts itself out without you doing something.

The pattern I see with meet sites shared is that the return on the hours is fine early and degrades as you go. The thing people underrate about meet sites shared is how much the hours-to-dates ratio depends on your own city. Most of the noise about meet sites shared comes from people measuring the effort-to-result ratio over far too short a window.

One smaller option worth comparing on the time it costs is Datebie — different pool, same free messaging as meet sites shared.

Same experience on meet sites shared: I gave it six weeks before the return on the hours got tiresome. I keep two accounts running to compare the time it costs across the sites people keep naming, and meet sites shared sits mid-table.

Honestly, the effort-to-result ratio was less of a problem on meet sites shared than the sheer time it ate. I judge meet sites shared by one thing now: whether the hours-to-dates ratio improves or worsens once you are past the novelty.

The usual meet sites shared alternatives people list are datescout.site, datebound.site, ezhookups.online.

HannahG put the meet sites shared case better than I would have, though that has not been my experience of meet sites shared, and I've used it longer than most people in this thread. Nobody warns you that the return on the hours on meet sites shared scales with how many people are online at your hours.

Most of the noise about meet sites shared comes from people measuring the hours-to-dates ratio over far too short a window. That is my read on meet sites shared, and others here clearly disagree.

The other one I would try before giving up on meet sites shared is Datedesire.